Hey, Ladies!

In 2008 the Proctor Cycling Classic directors, in order to boost up the number of racers from the previous year's six, increased the prizelist for the Womens P12 race to $1000 - four turned up.

This year, with a still substantial $500 purse on offer, exactly zero P12 riders registered. That's a big round duck egg. Does anybody care? It's pretty clear that Women's racing in IL is in a parlous state, but when not one rider bothers to come to the State Championship - is it worth rescuing? For shame, Ladies! Weak!

O'Fallon Grand Prix

At EvilDan's request - I conducted extensive interviews with all of Proctor's racers today.

Here are the results:

Masters 40+ open:
Me: "How'd you do Greg?"
Greg S.: "First there were seven in the break, then we were six, then we were five, then we were four after the guy went into the ditch. then we were three after we dropped the guy who wouldn't work, coming up the hill we were two, coming around the bend to the finish we were one - that was me"

Cat 3:
Greg: "Dan, were you in that crash?"
Dan D: "Greg, I WAS the crash!"
Matt B (regretfully): "Yeah, Dan WAS the crash"

Cat 4:
Chris S. (on being caught by the Cat 4/5 pack)
Me:"Come on, Chris!"
Chris: (mutters something incomprehensible about younger women, gray hairs, inadvisability of riding a new bike for the first time in a race and how he definitely is NOT entitled to race as a Master).

Masters 50+ Open
Gary Doering: "So Dan, would you prefer to be dropped on the hill or in the sprint?"
Dan H.: "You can drop me in the sprint please, Gary"

Cat 4/5
Me (to XXX racer):"Wanna try a breakaway?"
XXX racer: "No thanks. I think I fancy my chances in the sprint"
Me (to Wild Card racer): "C'mon dude! Let's push it! Just gutter these guys and we can fight it out!"
Wild Card racer: "Thanks but no thanks. I'd much rather wait for the sprint"
Me: (with 7 miles to go):"Come on! We got six and a thirty yard gap into a headwind. Grab my wheel and let's go! There's no way we can get caught!"
Other five: "Very much obliged, but we're feeling optimistic about the sprint"
Post-race
Jason R: "I was feeling good for the sprint but I got caught behind that crash with 3 miles to go"
Tim L: "I was waiting for the sprint but I cramped"
XXX racer: "I spent so much energy trying to catch the two guys who broke with a mile to go that I had nothing left and came last in the sprint"
Wild Card racer:"After my teammate broke I sprinted as hard as I could for the podium spot, but all these guys who had done nothing during the race came around me and they were just way faster"
Me: "I got in a race with 35 sprinters and 1 diesel"

Women's Open
Vanessa: "Woo! Show us your kit, David! Woo! I think that guy's naked over there! Woo! I got second!"

Comeuppance

Remember at Leland Kermesse I mentioned how I had noticed a Cat 4 illegally drafting the Cat 3 chase group for half the race, even though he was told several times not to? He drafted his way to 5th place in a horrendously hard race while other folks busted their ass just to finish with pride and honesty.

Well, the same guy was up to more shenanigans last weekend at the ABD masters crit weekend. He sprinted his way to top 4 placings on Saturday and Sunday in the 40+4s, winning $20 on Sunday and with good chances of winning the weekend overall and the $100 that goes with it. One mistake though, he seemed to have forgotten that his age is revealed on his team website and on USACycling - he ain't 40. Big mistake.

He must have ticked off more than me because at the start of the 40+/4 race on Monday they made an announcement that a racer was DQ'd from all 3 weekend races and was being forced to hand back his prizemoney - someone else had cottoned on to his nonsense and informed the officials. Congrats to ABR for taking decisive action. If it's possible, I hope he gets his USAcycling license suspended as well. Just once, a cheat gets exposed. The irony is, the guy's a strong allaround rider with a good sprint, shouldn't need to cheat to do well.

The same weekend, that team's manager was warned 3 times, and fined, for misbehavior at the Duluth Stage Race.

Snake Alley Crit

Cat 4/12 laps/65 starters/39 finishers

Still recovering from the wreck of 6 weeks ago, training plenty but unable to do any intensity without my legs locking up. One would think that Snake Alley is the worst possible race to do, and one would be right - however I had already paid my money and wanted to experience the most famous crit in the midwest just once.

Not a lot to say about this except that it showcased my two biggest weaknesses, accelerations and downhill cornering. Nothing can prepare you for the shock to the system that is the opening two laps of this race. I went from a good starting position to halfway when we hit the snake, to two thirds of the way back by the time we hit the top. I thought I had decent strength but guys I can usually beat easily in cross were rocketing past me as I hit my max power for the 30 secs up the hill. Same story on lap 2 where i fell even further behind. The hill was dog rough and I was having some problems with my front wheel lifting - plenty of shoulder bumping which I always enjoy.

Laps 3 and 4 I found some better lines, rode the Snake much smoother and started to get the hang of the corners. People were starting to blow up already and I was beginning to pick off and pass people. My slowtwitch diesel engine self was now coming out to play and I was optimistic about moving up for the rest of the race.

Then I got pulled.

I pulled over and waited for the leaders to come through - which they did, quite a while later.
The pace had slowed up considerably after the insanity of the first two laps - a lead group of 4 or so, chase group of six and second chase group of about 10. All separated by 10-15 seconds. Everybody too exhausted to attack and just trying to save themselves for the hill.

That was how it played out until the the last lap. Nothing much happened until the pace increased for the final dash. Skinny-ass teens came first and second, older geezer came third. So goes it.

What I took from the race - My trips up the hill were probably the most intense experiences I have had on a bike, that is something I will remember forever. The corners weren't as bad as I had expected and I need to work on this over the summer. Don't know what I can do about the start - my sprint power is close to untrained level and I have had very little success in trying to change it. I think I was one of the last to be pulled, so if I can just corner with more confidence I should at least be able to finish the race.

Not sure why the officials pulled so aggressively in some races and allowed folks to get lapped in other races and impede others. I'm all in favor of doing what it takes to ensure safety, but it's usual to give riders a chance and pull them when it's clear that they are just about to be lapped. Even at my slowest, it would have take 3 or 4 more laps for me to be caught, and, given the marked slowing of the pace, I think I even stood a fair chance of finishing unlapped. Pulling so early for merely being out of contention is disappointing. Such is life.

Stayed on and showed my support for the rest of the races and spent quite a while noting the cornering techniques of the good guys. Tilford is a master.

The rest of the weekend was unremarkable. I decided there was no point in doing the quad cities crit because the 14 lap race lasts 22 minutes and I wouldn't even be warmed up at that stage. Drove up there to spectate anyway and enjoyed it. Highlight of the day was getting passed on I-80 by a Smart car doing over 90 mph - in the middle of a torrential shower, with traffic cops every five miles. Someone's got cojones! Second-best part was seeing Steve Tilford take the bunch sprint for 3rd place. How a skinny 49 year old with no noticeable upper or lower body can beat out some of the musclebound midwest sprinting divas is a mystery to me - I guess Steve knows how to work them over.

193 Wins

193 top professional wins in these legs. 18 years pro racing, nine Monuments, one Grand Tour

Finchford Roubaix

Seven laps of a 5.5 mile rectangular circuit. Some small hills and a deceptively fast downhill corner that sent several 3s and 12s into the ditch. Wouldn't have been a challenging course if it wasn't for the brutal 20+ mph crosswind - that made it a grinding race of attrition.

They sure breed 'em big in Iowa. I felt that I had the smallest legs in the race - and I'm no midget. I noted a couple of wobbly riders to avoid, and sure enough, the most unsteady guy was the one who violated the yellow line multiple times in the crosswind.

Been 5 weeks since my Hillsboro crash and I'm still recovering. Put in plenty of time on the bike but haven't been able to do any intensity - it showed. Started yo-yoing off the back on the 2nd lap, 3 hours sleep and 4.5 hours driving had me cornering even worse than usual. Got popped at the end of lap 3, joined up with another popped rider and rotated until we got caught by two more. Did some good echeloning for 3 laps and caught nearly a dozen stragglers on the last lap, but had no idea what cat they were in, bib #s were in order of registration and had no bearing on the race category.

One guy bridged off the front on the last lap, we were all hurting and couldn't follow. Iit looks like I won the sprint (50 yard dash) out of our four man chase group. Didn't see any actual line so I was just guessing about the exact finish.

Enough about me; I finished (Sean would have) - quite a few didn't. The real story is the superb grassroots race Finchford Roubaix turned out to be. Only $20 entry fee, generous lunch provided (saving at least $10) and very respectable payout put many larger events to shame. Best thing was the large number of volunteers and the considerable emphasis on safety throughout. At least 3 volunteers coordinating each corner, stopping traffic so that anyone swinging out wide would not be in danger and keeping any inconvenienced drivers in good humor. Not fun to stay out there in the howling wind for a full day, but very much appreciated. This race deserves a lot more support and I'm already putting the word out for next year. Grassroots racing as it should be.

Here's a more interesting report.

Dangerous Dan Hill takes the W
-----------------------------------

Call him what you like - known variously as Dangerous Dan Hill, Desperate Dan, EvilDan, Daddy to his kids, Honeybunny to his wife and Wheelsucker to his teammates - Dangerous Dan came to Iowa's Finchford Roubaix road race with the sole intention of adding to the number of illustrious wins that Proctor Cycling has been picking up this season.

Despite the impediment of six fingers on his left hand, Dan still has plenty of space to count up the uphill sprints he has lost in the past few years; and he wasn't interested in adding to the number.

Six laps of a 20+mph crosswind-ravaged four-corner course lay between Dan and destiny. It would require a masterclass in wheelsucking and shelter-seeking; and the master was up to the job. After four laps of false attacks and suicidal solobreaks the winning break got away, three Mercy/Specialized teammates, a tapped-out non-pulling hanger on, and Dan. Dan sized them all up, took his pulls and salivated at the thought of the finish.

300 meters to go and EvilDan comes out to play. The finish is an uphill into a strong wind coming from the left. The pace accelerates, Magic Dan sneaks to the front and moves to the right. The skinny-ass climber is alone into the wind and has no chance, right? 200 meters to go and the other three try to come around on the left, instantly providing Crafty Dan the shelter he needs. He takes a breath, regroups and slingshots off the front just as the slope kicks up, taking the win rather handily.

"I got in a break with three time trialists and showed them how to sprint" said Dan. Win he did, and he still has a thumb and a couple of fingers left to count off any lost uphill finishes.

Fancy Dan goes home with a fat wad of cash to wave at the family and is formulating plans for midwest masters domination and dreaming of a trip to Disney World with his winnings.

Call him what you like, but add Winner Dan to the list of epithets.

Shattered - Leland Kermesse report

Not a good week at work. Major layoffs announced on Tuesday. Those affected informed on Friday. I survived, but I guess the stress got to me. Woke up on Saturday morning feeling absolutely shattered. Eyes were like beetroots, took me an hour to roll out of bed, weird. Not much enthusiasm for racing, but I feel all road races deserve support. Grabbed some brekkie, loaded car and made it to Leland for noon - 30 minutes before the Cat 4 start time.

Just enough time to register, pin on number and spin round the parking lot before rolling up to the line. I was scared to try any hard efforts because I didn't want to know how lousy I felt. Hoped that the first lap would be nice and slow in the 20+mph wind so I could get a chance to warm up. It was not to be.

I was astonished to see Ben Popper start in the Cat 4s. He has a UCI license, places in the top 20 in UCI CX races, and has an ftp in 5 w/kg range. I know he's not done much road racing but this is a bit ridiculous. Signs were ominous and i didn't heed them

We rolled out of the parking lot for the neutral start and this is where the race was already lost. With a ferocious crosswind and very high humidity all I wanted to do was hide and hang on. Not something Sean would do. In hindsight, I should have just swallowed the extra effort and booted it towards the front at the first opportunity, not caring too much about the wind. Instead I was so obsessed with positioning to the leeward side that I forgot about how far from the front I was. Riders were hugging the margin to prevent being forced into the wind by riders sneaking in and several people ended up riding in the dirt because of this. Soon as we hit the crosswind the race started to come apart, the first 10 or so riders bunched up and then it was a long line of guttered fools trying to eke out a little draft. A rider would let a gap form, I'd close it, rinse, repeat etc multiple times. The race shattered in the first 3 miles. My quads burnt like never before and with about half a mile before the turn out of the wind I had to let the gap go. Maintained a steady pace but was about 40 yards behind as we hit the turn into the tailwind. One guy was sheltering on my wheel and then a huge gap to the next guy and about half of the field spread behind him. I felt totally destroyed.

Hitting the turn I saw that Ben and a Venezuelan guy were ring off the front, a group of about 6 desperately chasing with another 10 or so in a varying state of disarray trying to close a gap.

The big Team Pegasus guy on my wheel came around and set a 30 mph pace with the tailwind. I was able to hold his wheel and recover somewhat. We mopped up a few stragglers, started up a paceline with a XXX rider and began to motor, blowing a couple of guys out the back in the process. I started to feel good and would make good progress leading into the wind while Pegasus really laid down some speed in other sections. it turned out to be a really fun course, with lots of high speed corners and twists to test your echeloning skills and wind-sheltering savvy. We were motoring along really well, the first group were out of contact but we were only 10 seconds or so behind the second large bunch of chasers and I felt confident we would catch them and end up fighting it out for some top 10 placings.

There were quite a few potholes and scattered gravel on the road, nothing that wasn't hard to avoid, but about a mile before the dirt section my rear wheel went flat and I had to pull over. What would Kelly do? Fix that flat and finish his race of course. Giving up and facing a lifetime of 6 am cow-milking to survive is not an option to be considered. Replaced the pinch-flatted tube in a couple of minutes (being passed by the rest of the Cat 4s, 5s and 123s) and proceeded to pump it up. Got some air in but it refused to pump up any more - the valve core had come off and lodged in the pump head. Lousy Performance tubes! That was the end of my race. Hitched a lift back to the start (Thanks Bob) and hung around to watch a couple of laps. First ever flat in a road race and first DNF.

The biggest surprise was that there was a cat 4 racer even stronger than Ben. They worked together and by the end of lap 2 had built up an enormous lead over the rest of the field. The Venezuelan guy had a bit more in the tank and took the win in the end. I think that both of these guys would have easily won the 123 race as well. My little chase group never latched on to the group we were chasing and the three remaining members rode the rest of the race by themselves. That's fortitude - I'm truly sorry that I wasn't there to work with them.

Incidents of note were a postal carrier pickup that nearly took out most of the 123 field by cutting the turn onto the dirt road at speed - no brakes, no indicator, nothing - showing total and dangerous disregard for anyone on a bike. I think some people may have gotten a photo of this and it deserves to be brought to the post office's attention.

The Dirt road was nothing - 2 relatively smooth clear lines. 23 mm tires would have been fine.
There was a terrific thundershower on the last lap that made things interesting. Props to everybody who finished out the race in it. True Hardmen/women.

Some very blatant illegal drafting going on as well. One cat 4 (in a blue/white kit) rode most of the race in the main 123 chase group - not cool.

There were also a huge amount of flats and DNFs. Circuit races and rough weather are conducive to this - abandonment is very appealing, but it seemed to be disproportionately high. The results aren't out yet so we'll have to see what the real numbers were.

All in all, it was a super race course with lots of challenging features. The exceptionally high winds and threatening conditions made life exceptionally hard, but there was some indefinable charm about the race that will draw everybody who did it back for years to come.

The early double-flat was a bummer but I still learned a lot. Be aggressive about getting to the front and expect the hammer to go down early when the conditions are windy. A good warm-up and keen concentration are essential. Already planning for next year.